Ahchoo!
by Tattered Wings1
Summary: Shadow Hearts/Final Fantasy crossover. This one IS brilliant.
1. Default Chapter

Author Note: Hi, for those of you who have read Fantavisation Street, this fanfic IS brilliant! Em, and now I AM the greatest and my fanfic shall rule all others. ^_^  
  
1913: A train ploughs through the thick Chinese fog. Tonight something was going to happen that would have the scientists of today so confused they'd probably still be wondering which way they were walking. Fortunately for the scientists the only watchers were a couple of wolves who were a hell of a lot more interested in the bleating of a lost sheep.  
  
An English gentleman jogs along the roof of the train with a blonde girl slung across one shoulder. Suddenly a boy with a trench coat and wild brown hair comes smashing through the roof of the train.  
  
"You're a persistent little rat, aren't you," the English gentleman murmured, more to himself than to anyone else. The trenchcoated boy ran towards him. The top-hatted twat raised one hand and the trenchcoated twat fell to the ground.  
  
"Ha! Ha ! Ha! REVELATION!" yelled the English gentleman. Time seemed to stop for one tiny millisecond as he summoned up his magic powers. At the same time he felt a strange and uncontrollable feeling, something that had to come out!!!  
  
"A-CHOO!!!"  
  
There was a flash of light and a noise like thunder. Suddenly there was more than snot up the English guy's nose. Four strangers were among them!!!!!  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!" yelled everyone.  
  
"Crap!" yelled Cloud.  
  
"Shit!" yelled Squall.  
  
"Fuck!" yelled Zidane.  
  
"Mind your language!" yelled Cloud and Squall together.  
  
"What the fuck are we doing here?!' yelled Zidane.  
  
"I told you to stop it!" yelled Cloud.  
  
'You told him!!! I told him!!!" yelled Squall. They start bitchfighting.  
  
"Um," said Yuri.  
  
"Fuck off!" yelled Cloud.  
  
"No! He knows why we're here!!!" yelled Zidane.  
  
'Wait!!! He's right!!!" yelled Cloud.  
  
"Hey yeah!!!" yelled Zidane.  
  
"Why are we all still yelling!!!!!" yelled Squall.  
  
"Because the author likes tormenting us. . . and exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Cloud.  
  
"STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Zidane.  
  
"Nah, I like this." said Tattered Wings calmly.  
  
'Hey! How come you don't have so many exclamation marks!!!!!!!" yelled Squall.  
  
"They don't look good on me." said Tattered Wings calmly and evaporated.  
  
"So," said Roger Bacon to the last, unnoticed stranger, "Who are you?"  
  
"My name is Sephiroth.' came the reply.  
  
' I like him, can we keep him?" said Roger Bacon hopefully.  
  
"No puny figment of my high imagination will know how it ends" came Tattered Wings' voice from nowhere.  
  
"Just a sneak preview for the tabloids?" asked Roger Bacon.  
  
"PEOPLE ARE STILL YELLING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Cloud.  
  
"WOAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THAT WAS ALL IN CAPITALS WITH OVER A LINE OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!" yelled Zidane.  
  
"Why are you still doing this!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Squall.  
  
"Because of what Cloud is about to call me" said Tattered Wings.  
  
"YOU @%E=&Ø??+?!!!!!" yelled Cloud. 


	2. The tale of dope and thonged moogles

The rather dubious gang who now consist of Yuri, Alice, Zhuzhen, Zidane, Cloud, Squall and Sephiroth are in a dark alley in Fengtian, all smoking dope except ALICE.  
  
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" remarks Yuri.  
  
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee indeed!!" agrees Zhuzhen.  
  
"Who the fuck is he?" asks Cloud.  
  
"Some old fart we picked up in Xioyang Village." Yuri informs him.  
  
"I was wondering that." says Alice.  
  
"You're meant to know,' says Yuri, "you're the sane one."  
  
Squall notices something. "Hey, Alice, why aren't you taking any?" He waves his joint under Alice's nose.  
  
'What's wrong with not taking any, eh?' Sephy says. 'It won't help you become God.'  
  
"Ummmmmm. . ."says Alice awkwardly. Fortunately for her, there is a deafening nearby explosion. Yuri, Zhuzhen, Zidane, Squall and Sephiroth all yell various profanities. Alice remains silent yet shocked. I think we all know who we can blame for the blast.  
  
"Hi guys!" says Margarete.  
  
"Hi Margarete!" says Yuri.  
  
"You don't know my name yet" she reminds him.  
  
"It's Margaret, right?" asks Zidane.  
  
"E! With an E!" she yells.  
  
"O.K, Margaret." says Cloud. MargaretE goes mental.  
  
"EEE!! eeeeeeee!!! eeee!! EEE!!!!" And with that she pulls out a giant inflatable letter E and starts attacking the unfortunate group with it.  
  
  
  
***  
  
Behind a nearby dustbin, Roger Bacon is talking to himself in a perfectly sane and not in the least bit psychotic way.  
  
"Ha ha ha! I am evil! Ha ha ha-choo!!!!!!" And, bizzarly, his mucus membranes produce a moogle. Which, even more bizzarely, is wearing a pink bra and thong. "Hmm," he muses. "I have an idea. . ."  
  
  
  
Will Alice take drugs? Will anyone get Margaret(E)'s name right? And what the hell is Roger Bacon gonna do with that erotic moogle? Tune in next chapter to have these (and EVEN more),stupid questions answered. 


End file.
